A Man’s Pursuit of Eve
My Dear Christian Brothers,
I feel like each week we are going deeper into the heart of a man. It is like we are climbing further into the mountains and valleys of a man’s heart. And this week is a very special part of our journey because we are going to examine and discover more about the relationship a man has with his woman, his Eve, his wife.
As we have seen in our study so many Christian men don’t even know the masculine journey exists. And for those of us who know Christian male journey exists have completely stopped moving forward on the path.
We have believed the lies of the enemy — such as: you are a hopeless man! God could never use you or love you! You are worthless! You will fail in your relationship with your woman!
We have made agreements with those lies — such as: I will never trust any woman again and I will not open up my heart! I will always fail at relationships with women so I will not even try!
Or we have been wounded and discouraged and so we have stopped our journey and sat down and tried to create happiness with in our small personal lives in our tiny corner of the earth with the least amount of effort possible. As the Chinese say we have “lied down flat” - tang pingle!
Often, the men who have stopped the grand journey towards masculine maturity in Christ — the journey up into those mountains — have tried to satisfy themselves with small addictions of the flesh (porn, alcohol, drugs, sex) or emotional control (angry outbursts or violence), or by trying to build relationships with powerful or cool people (look who says I’m cool and important!), or by building social media platform based on a false persona, or by spending money on some lavish hobby or products — all of it to make us look good on the outside and feel good in our bodies and in control of our lives.
And some Christian married men have stopped completely growing on their personal journey because they are completely stuck in their marriage. They feel disappointed, controlled or even abandoned. Perhaps they are experiencing real suffering. But where does it come from?
“The continual search for love and validation is always the core issue,” says John Eldridge. “A man does not go to a woman to get his strength, he goes to her to offer his strength.”
We men have no idea how to love the woman that God gave each of us. And if we have daughters we have no idea how to really love them.
Woman can be a huge challenge to our true masculinity. And yet it is through our differences that we come to know what masculinity contains.
So are you willing to climb further on this journey of being a real disciple of Jesus — in all areas of your life?
Think deep about your relationship with women, starting with your mother or others women in your family life, school life, or professional or ministry life.
How do you normally respond to them? How do they make you feel in terms of your manhood?
And think about your wife. Who is she to you? What could God have wanted when He brought her into your life? What is He doing now in your life through her?
God does not make mistakes and this relationship is a divinely ordained one for a holy purpose. He is shaping us and calling us to be the men we should be in our marriage. “Husbands love your wives,” is the clear teaching of God’s Word, “as Christ loved the church.”
What does that include?
Do you want to walk out of your failures to love her and instead to be loved by her? Do you want to see the miracle of God’s 1 Corinthians 13 love flood your relationship? It is possible. We start with admitting our need to grow in this area and opening up to God and to other brothers. We can be strengthened to move forward on our journey.
I should know! I have a wife and 3 daughters!! Growing up I had a very strong and controlling mother and I have been surrounded by female hormones for 50+ years — estrogen and progesterone!
I have to say my relationship with women has been the single biggest force for deep character change in my life. My relationship with my dad and other men has had a great deepening effect on my life — deepened love, deepened purpose. But in terms of truly touching my character in places where it needs to change, God has used some precious females to do that in my life!
Of course, because we are so different God uses the differences to “chip away” our hard exterior. Only by knowing Eve, loving Eve, and giving ourselves to Eve in a healthy way, can we begin to fully know what it means to be a man, and fully know the image of God who made people as male and female.
Sit alone for an hour this week. Take out a piece of paper and a pen and ask God these questions and write your thoughts:
“Father, what have you been trying to tell me through my relationship with my wife?” (about myself, my relationship with you, or about her).
“Lord, what does it mean to love a woman?”
“God, how do I need to change, as a man, to better love her as a woman?”
If you are a single man at this stage of your life — do not despair! But do prepare! Prepare your heart, mind, and body for the woman that God has for you. Or prepare for some years of singleness and purity. But along this journey of preparation you should also consider the role women have played in your life and how you have responded to them. And you should ask what kind of response you have had towards women throughout your life, beginning with your mother or grandmother. You may also do this solitude activity and ask God what kind of things He wants you to learn from the relationships you have had with women in the past.
Finally, we have all sinned in every area of life and God knows our weaknesses and every selfish thing we have done — including in our bodies, in our sexual lives. But in Christ we may have true redemption, not because we deserve it, but only by His grace. He can completely forgive every sexual or relational sin you have ever had. He can give you a new start and a new way of learning to love, whether you are married or single. He can walk with you on this part of your masculine journey.
Remember, brothers, you are not alone. We walk this journey together and the Lord has helped many men down through history to do this. The exciting thing is this: This is your moment!! This is your history!! This is your woman!! This moment belongs to no one else. May you truly think about these things this week. And may God give you inspiration.
I feel like each week we are going deeper into the heart of a man. It is like we are climbing further into the mountains and valleys of a man’s heart. And this week is a very special part of our journey because we are going to examine and discover more about the relationship a man has with his woman, his Eve, his wife.
As we have seen in our study so many Christian men don’t even know the masculine journey exists. And for those of us who know Christian male journey exists have completely stopped moving forward on the path.
We have believed the lies of the enemy — such as: you are a hopeless man! God could never use you or love you! You are worthless! You will fail in your relationship with your woman!
We have made agreements with those lies — such as: I will never trust any woman again and I will not open up my heart! I will always fail at relationships with women so I will not even try!
Or we have been wounded and discouraged and so we have stopped our journey and sat down and tried to create happiness with in our small personal lives in our tiny corner of the earth with the least amount of effort possible. As the Chinese say we have “lied down flat” - tang pingle!
Often, the men who have stopped the grand journey towards masculine maturity in Christ — the journey up into those mountains — have tried to satisfy themselves with small addictions of the flesh (porn, alcohol, drugs, sex) or emotional control (angry outbursts or violence), or by trying to build relationships with powerful or cool people (look who says I’m cool and important!), or by building social media platform based on a false persona, or by spending money on some lavish hobby or products — all of it to make us look good on the outside and feel good in our bodies and in control of our lives.
And some Christian married men have stopped completely growing on their personal journey because they are completely stuck in their marriage. They feel disappointed, controlled or even abandoned. Perhaps they are experiencing real suffering. But where does it come from?
“The continual search for love and validation is always the core issue,” says John Eldridge. “A man does not go to a woman to get his strength, he goes to her to offer his strength.”
We men have no idea how to love the woman that God gave each of us. And if we have daughters we have no idea how to really love them.
Woman can be a huge challenge to our true masculinity. And yet it is through our differences that we come to know what masculinity contains.
So are you willing to climb further on this journey of being a real disciple of Jesus — in all areas of your life?
Think deep about your relationship with women, starting with your mother or others women in your family life, school life, or professional or ministry life.
How do you normally respond to them? How do they make you feel in terms of your manhood?
And think about your wife. Who is she to you? What could God have wanted when He brought her into your life? What is He doing now in your life through her?
God does not make mistakes and this relationship is a divinely ordained one for a holy purpose. He is shaping us and calling us to be the men we should be in our marriage. “Husbands love your wives,” is the clear teaching of God’s Word, “as Christ loved the church.”
What does that include?
Do you want to walk out of your failures to love her and instead to be loved by her? Do you want to see the miracle of God’s 1 Corinthians 13 love flood your relationship? It is possible. We start with admitting our need to grow in this area and opening up to God and to other brothers. We can be strengthened to move forward on our journey.
I should know! I have a wife and 3 daughters!! Growing up I had a very strong and controlling mother and I have been surrounded by female hormones for 50+ years — estrogen and progesterone!
I have to say my relationship with women has been the single biggest force for deep character change in my life. My relationship with my dad and other men has had a great deepening effect on my life — deepened love, deepened purpose. But in terms of truly touching my character in places where it needs to change, God has used some precious females to do that in my life!
Of course, because we are so different God uses the differences to “chip away” our hard exterior. Only by knowing Eve, loving Eve, and giving ourselves to Eve in a healthy way, can we begin to fully know what it means to be a man, and fully know the image of God who made people as male and female.
Sit alone for an hour this week. Take out a piece of paper and a pen and ask God these questions and write your thoughts:
“Father, what have you been trying to tell me through my relationship with my wife?” (about myself, my relationship with you, or about her).
“Lord, what does it mean to love a woman?”
“God, how do I need to change, as a man, to better love her as a woman?”
If you are a single man at this stage of your life — do not despair! But do prepare! Prepare your heart, mind, and body for the woman that God has for you. Or prepare for some years of singleness and purity. But along this journey of preparation you should also consider the role women have played in your life and how you have responded to them. And you should ask what kind of response you have had towards women throughout your life, beginning with your mother or grandmother. You may also do this solitude activity and ask God what kind of things He wants you to learn from the relationships you have had with women in the past.
Finally, we have all sinned in every area of life and God knows our weaknesses and every selfish thing we have done — including in our bodies, in our sexual lives. But in Christ we may have true redemption, not because we deserve it, but only by His grace. He can completely forgive every sexual or relational sin you have ever had. He can give you a new start and a new way of learning to love, whether you are married or single. He can walk with you on this part of your masculine journey.
Remember, brothers, you are not alone. We walk this journey together and the Lord has helped many men down through history to do this. The exciting thing is this: This is your moment!! This is your history!! This is your woman!! This moment belongs to no one else. May you truly think about these things this week. And may God give you inspiration.
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